I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
