You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
