the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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