Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
