There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
