did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Four minutes until I can fart!
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
