oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize