very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
