Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you win again, gameday.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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