Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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