Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
