You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
