Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize