Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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