everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
