ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
