i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
