I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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