you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
