I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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