Say something about gay babies.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
