I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize