She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm experimenting with sincerity
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
