So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
