I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
