i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
