who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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