All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
