he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
