Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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