you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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