He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
