saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Randomize
