Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize