dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
meet me or not, i'm out of control
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
