I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize