i can't believe i had my finger in that
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
