In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
