My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
