you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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