marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
