Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
