those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
