please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
