she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
