the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
