Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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