I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
