For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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