oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
