this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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