I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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