If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize