Duck Duck Cougar?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
