Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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