Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize