I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
