That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
