Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
