dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
