Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
