awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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